A Holy Mess

I remember not being able to sleep the night that I surrendered my life to Jesus and the (many) nights that followed; I was in this state of awe & wonder.After I’d been seeing through (new) eyes for a while: I had this surge rise up within me like I needed to tell the world about Jesus. All I could think was the people in and around my life needed Jesus, and they needed Jesus now! Haha

 I made a fool of myself and I didn’t care. I began to tell my friends and many began to come to Jesus!

 But then there were the ones that wouldn’t budge, the ones that dumped me as a friend, the ones that resented me for it. I was so naive then; I figured that it was because they weren’t “doing it right “ they weren’t “trying hard enough”… I pushed a little too hard and miserably lost the battle.

It wasn’t until a few years later that i began to realize that my only job was to LOVE them, not just the mushy, “oh, I love you” kind of love but really love them as in the character of God’s love for them.

In 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 it says:

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

This means that In loving them, it wasn’t my job to get offended, angry, prideful, argumentative etc. This was actually wonderful because by releasing all these self-imposed emotions, I didn’t have to carry the weight. I would remind myself to breath and in the storm, stand in HIM (the lover of my soul..)
You see as born again Christians we have this amazing purpose that is NOT OF THIS WORLD… as one pastor put it; we are called to shoot the arrow even when we cannot see the target! Our aim is HIS purpose and our obedience! The way that we can smoothly walk in this calling is to place Him first in our lives and let Him lead.
For me obedience had looked like this….
I stopped any usage of alcohol & drugs (even though the idea sounded nice here and there)

I began to allow Him to remove people from my life (even though I fought it “ tooth and nail”)

I humbled myself in my workplace and began to work as if unto the Lord (even though, it seemed as though I was being used and abused)

I began to separate myself from conversations of gossip and malice (simply because it felt yuck to my spirit that was not filled with His)

I began to love those that persecuted and hated me through the eyes of the Father (even though I felt wronged and deserving)

I began to let Him open me up and pull out the ugly in me (even though at times it was hard to look at myself in the mirror)

The list goes on and on…..

Now several years later I find myself amazed completely bewildered, about the fruit that obedience has produced in my life! 
More than being completely free of addiction, depression, un-forgiveness, secrets etc.… my most favorite thing is seeing how obedience has won souls!

NOTHING gets me more excited than hearing the words come from someone that their eyes have been opened! Nothing better than hearing their stories of GODS amazing GRACE and LOVE over them.

When I find out that my obedience aided in this miracle!(((( Woooohooooo)))) Makes me want to dance!

Recently I have been experiencing this in rapid flow sort of way; I can’t help but feel like the harvest in this world is more than ready for revival! The pulse of pain and anxiety is so extreme in the world right now! People need to find rest for their souls, they are searching in EVERYTHING from materials, relationships, education etc.… they have no idea that all they need is Jesus to reside in their hearts and then all else will settle around that. 

It’s really that simple. For months now the Lord has been revealing this to me is many ways; I have been in intercession for so many, especially the younger generation. I see what they are doing and even though they have their fingers, arms, legs and minds deep in the things of the world, I count it all JOY( NOT JUDGEMENT ) because I know that the LORD hears my prayers. And I know that LOVE ALWAYS WINS! I have to trust that my God hears and He is faithful. That these people I have been praying for WILL have VICTORY in Jesus name!
So next time you see someone that’s lost, just hug them, love them and tell them; “I’ve been talking to Jesus about you! ”


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