May 9th 2012: Journal Entry:
I pray father that when I speak tomorrow night at church; that I am just led by your Holy Spirit and only your Spirit! I pray that you keep me in a small and lowly place! I thank you for the gift of compassion for others. I thank you for the opportunity to LOVE others. I pray for a sound mind Lord. I pray for a mind that always looks to you for direction. Father I am learning that you are the way and the light!
( THEN AFTER THIS ENTRY I BEGAN TO PRAY WITH PASSION FOR SO MANY PEOPLE AROUND ME/MY LIFE…..)
I prayed that the Lord help lift the bad spirits of oppression, co-dependency, shame, unworthiness; that they ALL be rebuked in Jesus name! I prayed that they (the lost) have a change of heart and prayed that they find their way back to the light!
I love my sisters and brothers LORD! I need you to show me how to help them in LOVE. Father please shine wisdom on me, give me your words my God! my words are NOTHING without you Lord…. Be permanent in me my GOD! Be my skeletal system LORD! I cannot function, walk, talk or even move without you father! You placed me here Lord and I need you to move me! Every moment father everyday Lord, every hour my God, move me in your spirit at all times! I burn to be in your presence my Lord! I ache for it! I am like an empty can of rust without you my God! MOVE ME OUT OF THE WAY LORD……. Love Lyssa
I just felt like, (wow), this morning, as I read this journal entry from back in May of 2012, I was on Fire with Passion. To tell you the truth I still feel this way, even when I am discouraged and cannot see, I just choose to believe. I feel like when I had my revelation of who Jesus was and that he loved me; Little crazy, clumsy, selfish, drug using, me!…. I got jacked up! In that I mean, I was completely transformed inside. My heart was given back to me and I am a NEW CREATION in Christ! Not only did he give me my heart back, but he also handed me, POWER<PASSION<TOOLS<LOVE<FORGIVENESS<HUMILITY<EMPATHY & FAITH TO SEE WITH HIS EYES…. The list goes on and on. He gave me so much love that at times when I am standing feet away from a lost soul, I literally will began to tear up. I want to take them by the hand and run… Let’s go! Get out of this dark place! Let me tell you there is a light! This light will break your heart! This light will be closer to you than a mother or a father! This LOVE will tare you up and put you back together! This love is the real deal!
I can go on and on about the revelation I have had of Jesus…. The hard part is, as Pastor Jason Smothermon said; we are NEVER allowed to give up! When we are tired, beat up & worn out…we are NOT allowed to give up! Maybe that one last time you take that person by the hand and again tell them about your savior they will come and surrender to God… Oh how desperate I am to bring lost souls to the saving knowledge of our SAVIOR!
What also comes to mind is; may we never forget our first love! As I read my journal entry from 2012, I sort of giggle because of my expressions and my passion; and in the same thought I feel sort of sad because I don’t always write like that anymore, I don’t tend to pray that way anymore. People told me as a baby Christian that this would happen and I swore there was no way it would happen to me but it did, my hope is that as you read this entry, you will take a minute to remember your first love and the fire in your heart for Jesus will ignite once again.
Father give us a renewed passion today! Show us who & when! We are ready Father! Commission our souls LORD! That we be ready & willing!..